Don’t Piss Off the Monkey

Tonight I was cleaning out my old car, getting her ready to get towed away to an auto salvage place.  I was telling her what a good car she’d been, and that I was sorry that that although the front of her was pretty banged up, it seemed such a waste that she would be crushed, because most of her was still perfectly good.

My car was my most recent physical teacher.  I smashed her up a couple of weeks ago,  on my way home at rush hour, after work.  The accident was very unremarkable.  The person in front of me was cut off by another driver and jammed on her brakes.  I rear-ended her.  The other driver wasn’t even mad at me, she blamed the driver in front of her.  Then she gave me a hug because I was so shaken up.  Since when does that happen?

What Was I Supposed to Learn from the Accident?

So why the hell was I in this accident?  I wasn’t really going particularly fast, so why was my hood like an accordian, my lights smashed out, the frame irredeemably bent.   The weirdest thing was, I wasn’t injured at all, other than being fuzzy-headed for a few days.  It was almost creepier that I didn’t suffer any symptoms at all, looking at the damage to my car.

Ever since then I’ve been trying to figure out what that car crash was supposed to mean. What is the lesson I’m supposed to be learning?

I did a journey to help myself understand what this accident was supposed to teach me.  I was very eager to learn the lesson, because obviously something was trying to get my attention.  Really badly.  Badly enough to make me crash my car.  I wanted to grasp the lesson, so that I wouldn’t have to receive a “harder lesson” to get it.

In my journey I encountered a giant monkey, about 20 feet tall, with white rings around its eyes, sitting on the crumpled up hood or my car.  It screamed “Pay attention to me!  Pay attention to me!”  It was really pissed off at me.  I was frightened, but I couldn’t tell what the monkey meant.

I did some research on monkey symbolism and car symbolism, but nothing really stuck.  No meanings really gelled for me.  I was fortunate enough to have some friends do journeys for me or give guidance.  There was information about needing to take appropriate metaphysical “safety precautions”, which turned out to be very timely advice.  There was also guidance about needing a new representation of myself in the world, literally a new vehicle to present myself to the world.  But I still felt like I wasn’t grasping the deeper part of the lesson.  Until tonight.

Tonight I finally figured out why the giant monkey was screaming at me, from the hood of my crashed car.

Angry Monkey

In the past few weeks since my car accident I had become angrier and angrier.  It was so bad by the end of last week, that I was an out of control rage-o-holic.  I couldn’t feel gratitude for anything.  Not one thing.  All I had for the world was anger and hatred.   Every new request at work pissed me off. I despised my husband, who despite my wrath, was being very kind.  I was supposed to find a new car, and I was totally pissed off about that too.

This endless font of rage started to scare me.  Even if I’m in a good mood, I’m can usually still feel grateful about the little things – a sunny day, a nice comment from someone, my kids picking me some dandelions.  But I had nothing.

All I had was rage.  I could truly find nothing inside but an endless supply of wrath, that I wanted to take out on anyone or anything that made me the slightest bit angry.  What was going on with me?

Then I finally did a release exercise that my coach had given me, to indentify the unconscious pattern that was holding me hostage.  Once I indentified the pattern, finally the message from the monkey made sense to me.

My soul had crashed and burned.  That was the monkey’s message.  The “real me” had finally “hit the wall” with my job.

The monkey is the real authentic me.  The monkey represents the part of me who’s mission is my survival, even if the conscious part of me isn’t acting in my best interests.

The monkey is the happy, fun, naturally joyous part of me.  This monkey part of me, the true “me”, was being killed off. This was the part that kept dying a little bit each time I had to work on a file I hated, deal with a business decision I considered utterly stupid, or spend a lot of my time and mental energy on a completely pointless project.  My monkey has been able to come out and play a little bit when I write blog posts, but apparently this is not enough anymore.

The monkey came to warm me that it was worse than I thought.  When you take all the joy out of a monkey, it is no longer a fun, playful creature.  It is some of the scariest shit you have ever seen.  Because without its fun, playful nature, a monkey really is no longer a monkey. By definition it does not really exist anymore.  The monkey is gone, and what is left in its place is angry and nasty.  That is what I had become – a joyless monkey.

The monkey’s message was that my joy is very close to being snuffed out entirely.  The car accident was the quickest and best way to bring this to my attention.

So while I have written about being as authentic to myself as possible before, it turns out I actually have to take my own advice about my job being in alignment with the real “me”.  It is no longer an option, it is now a necessity.  And it has to happen immediately.

The Pattern – Human Doing not Human Being

The unconscious pattern I had formed, was that I had turned from a human being, into a human doing.  I had come to feel that I was being valued only for what I did and what I had, not WHO I was. The deepest part of me was dying, my own desires ignored in the pursuit of money.

The monkey is “me” is fighting for my survival at some level, even if the conscious me hasn’t been.  The monkey “me” is really pissed off, and is done with my job, even if I’m not.  Sure, I’ve consciously thought about quitting, visualized it happening, searched for other positions, but the monkey was telling me that waiting for this to happen is no longer an option.  I have to end my job, and it doesn’t matter if I have a contingency plan or not.

Even though I’m afraid to do this, and have no idea how the practical considerations in my life, like paying the mortgage, will play out in my life, those fears now have to be secondary.  They are challenges I am going to have to face, because I think it is far more dangerous than to ignore the important message I was given.

The fact is, I am being held hostage by material demands. The complexity of my current life situation and the money it takes to fuel it, is my creation.  The lesson for me to remember is, that I always have choices, even if they aren’t easy choices.  I am the creator of my own life, and I don’t have to feel powerless over it.

The monkey, is like the Fool archetype in the tarot deck.  Although both archetypes are buffoons on the surface, they speak to our instinctive wisdom.  Even if we have absolutely nothing but the shirts on our back, we still have everything we need to make the journey of our lives.  We have our intuition, our wisdom and the love of the Divine, just for existing, just for being alive.

We get so caught up in what we are, our jobs, our titles, our roles, in what we have, houses, cars, money, that we don’t remember WHO we are.  It behooves us to remember that all can be taken from us in a heartbeat.  All it takes is one fire, one earthquake, one flood, and we have nothing.  We are not in control of the bigger picture, and when we forget that, we are weakened into being slaves to our stuff, thinking that our stuff is security.  Real security is knowing that abundance is all around us, not in our material objects.

When I met my husband twelve years ago, I had nothing, I was starting over.  I lived in my Dad’s basement, took the bus to a menial job and only had the clothes on my back.  But I did have intuition and dreams.  Now I have a house, two cars, and a well-paying job, but I feel more trapped than ever.  When all I had was dreams, I also had freedom.

We don’t remember that it is enough to exist, that we can be loved for just being alive in this world.  The monkey reminds us that for all our civilized trappings, we are really just creatures, and creatures are nothing without respecting their deepest instincts.

The challenge for me is to remember that having only myself is plenty.  With my health, my dreams, and love I have so much already.  The Universe is so bountiful, that it is provides along the way, just as it has done for me before.

So I’m taking care of my monkey business.  While I’m afraid of how it might turn out, I am more afraid of not doing it.

Kara

If you are ready to hear connect with your Higher Wisdom, I can help you make the Connection.  Receive your intuitive messages, waiting for you to retrieve them right now! Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey.

Kara Thompson :: Copyright 2010

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Sasquatch and Gila Monster Wisdom: Show Me The Way

Power animals that indicate shamanic talents?  Practical advice for which career paths to pursue?  Giant Gila Monsters?  Read about them here in this fascinating journey for Q.

I journeyed for Q on the question “I have options A, B, C, D, E ahead of me for work. Which ones should I pursue?”

I journeyed for Q with this question as my intention.  I did my usual protocols and arrived in my journeying launch spot.

Clutching on to “me” (the me that exists in non-ordinary reality), onto my back, with all of its strength, will and claws, was what appeared to be a giant gecko.  It was mostly yellowish/tan and radiating out from its spine, was a complex and beautiful pattern comprised of different shades of brown.  It had triangular-ish shaped head, which it was resting on top of my head (our heads were about the same size).  I’m not sure why this gecko was so huge, much larger I’m sure than a gecko of this type would be in this reality.

I “swam” up through the air to get to the Upper World.  As soon as I reached a little wooden latched door to go up and in, the gecko was peeled off my back and I could see him fall all the way down to the Lower World, landing lightly on his feet the way geckos do.  I also got the sense that he was not allowed to come in to the Upper World, perhaps because he was from the Lower World.

I asked for messages for Q, and the teacher that appeared was a sasquatch.  In fact, he was a cartoon version, and looked just like “Quatchi” a sasquatch mascot for the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver.

Sasquatch wouldn’t speak, but I showed him Q’s choices of A, B, C, D, and E.  He grabbed A immediately and squeezed the life out of it, and threw it away.  B he picked up and looked at and put down again.  C he scrunched a little bit.  For D, he did the same thing as B.  For E, he again grabbed it and squashed it and threw it away.  Sasquatch then left immediately.  The meanings I got from this were that A and E were not good choices for you.  B and D were the best, and C would be okay, but not optimal for you.

There were no other messages so I walked down some stairs to the Lower World.

As I went through another little wooden latched door to the Lower World, I immediately saw a white rabbit.  I quickly asked her if she was Q’s power animal and she said “no”.  She kept hopping, and telepathically indicated I should follow her.  I fell right behind her as she hopped.

She was hopping a pattern on the ground so I watched to see what she was hopping. She hopped in an A shape, and a high-pitched voice squeaked “no way”.  She then hopped in a B shape, and the same little high-pitched voice squeaked “with glee”.  She hopped in a C shape and the little voice squeaked “we’ll see”.  The D shape was followed with a “Yippee!”, and the E shape was followed with a “Not me!”.  The rabbit then hopped away out of my sight.  My interpretations of these responses were the same results as the above from Sasquatch.

I then asked if Q’s power animal was present.  The gecko appeared again out of nowhere, practically landing right on my lap.  It then showed its forked tongue to me, its side and then sat still.  (Usually a power animal confirms by showing itself four times.)  Still baffled by the size of the gecko, my mind asked “Gila?” and seemed to get an affirmative, so I believed it was a Gila Monster. (I didn’t even know what a Gila Monster looked like, so after the journey I had to go find a photo of one to confirm what this lizard actually was.)

There seemed to be no more messages about Q’s work, so I asked if there was any other information for Q.  Finally I got an answer, some distant voices (I’m sure they were Q’s guides but they didn’t want to show themselves to me) said “Tell him we want him to try shaking.”  They gave me instructions for what Q had to do.  “Warn him that he’s going to be cold” they said, then they all cackled.  (They seem to be very old, crusty, cackly-type guides.)  When I asked who I should tell Q they were they said “Tell him we’re the Trans-Siberian Shamans” and they laughed and cackled.  (They seemed to think that was really funny.  I got the feeling it was an inside joke that Q would understand.)

Then Gila Monster wanted to come on the trip back with me.  He climbed on my back again, came up into the Upper World, where he actually got in this time.  I sensed because we were only passing through to get back to ordinary reality.  Then he was popped off my back, right before we landed and I got back to my launching pad.

Analysis

Q’s journey was fascinating for me, as one of his power animals was a mythical animal (sasquatch) and his main power animal (Gila Monster), as well as sasquatch, are considered shamanic power animals, indicating Q’s very strong personal shamanic ties to the shamanic world.  Q is a shamanic practictioner himself and already has strong ties to that world.

Also, in responding to questions about the Gila Monster, Q told me that he had a significant connection to the Navajo culture and the Huichol culture where the Gila Monster is a sacred power animal.

Sasquatch is considered by some North American aboriginal tribes to border between human and animal consciousness.  He is considered an older brother to humans.  Sasquatch appears to humans when they need to make a change in their lives.  Sasquatch can travel between dimensions, just like shamans can.

The Gila Monster, Q’s power animal, represents intuition and regeneration of life.  It stays underground 98% of the time in its burrow, and can eat up to 100% of its body weight.  The Gila lives in the dark, like the shaman can live in the dark recesses of the soul of man, and “lives” in the Lower World.  The Gila sustains itself on stored energy, like the shaman preserves and uses energy to his advantage.  In Navajo culture, the Gila put all the pieces of the Sun back together, basically regenerating the life of his tribe.  In Huichol culture, the Gila is considered to be the representation of a shaman.

We discussed how the white rabbit symbolizes the search for mystical knowledge.  We follow the white rabbit down the rabbit hole deeper and deeper to the Underworld, to get the answers to the deepest, darkest questions. 

When we discussed the “shaking” suggestion for his work, P surprised me by telling me that he found a story from the Navajo culture, where the shamans who used the Gila monster energy used shaking to accomplish what he was working on in his personal practice. 

The Five Career Paths

P and I discussed the five paths he’d asked me about. He commented that while he enjoyed doing A, he didn’t believe there was much money to be made from it, and he was fine with that. 

He said he never wanted to go back to C, but would if he had to.  D he didn’t really want to do.  He said he would continue to pursue E out of love, but knew he wouldn’t get paid to do it.

He seemed afraid of pursuing B, but at the same time wanted to.  He had always wanted to do B, just couldn’t figure out how.  We talked about his fears about pursuing B.  We discussed some practical steps he could take towards experimenting with doing B more formally.

Further Analysis

When I finish initial journey analysis with a client, I ask them to keep me posted on any further meanings that come to them, so we can both benefit from the deeper wisdom revealed.  While alot of information is conveyed in a journey, the more interest you take and the more research you do into the details of your own journey, and the personal work you are instructed to do within it, the more discoveries you make.  The information gets deeper and deeper, and more  personal.  The more a client delves into their own information, the more they gain from it.

Q contacted me after his journey and blew my mind when he told me about follow-up journeys he had done for himself on aspects of my initial journey for him.  His connections to his ancestral lineage and even past lives became clear, along with a deeper connection to his power animals became.  It became more apparent how they could help him, and what their purpose was.

It turns out he had a strong connection to the Yeti (a Bhutanese sasquatch) from childhood, and more information was revealed to him about the Yeti and the Gila in his own journeys.

I want to thank Q, because this was a fascinating journey, and the whole process was of great benefit to my own learning as well.  Of course I thank Spirit above all, for the amazing gifts we were given with this journey, and in every journey.

Kara

Need to hear connect with your Higher Wisdom?  I’m can help you make the Connection.  Receive your own intuitive messages, waiting for you to retrieve them right now! Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey pronto!

Note: This journey was published with the consent of the client.  It is published with the intent of educating readers on the symbolism within it, and for any healing it may contain for anyone reading it.  I have changed only the details that might identify a client, or impact a client’s personal work.

Thanks to Ecosnake for the photo! http://www.flickr.com/photos/ecosnake/

Kara Thompson :: Copyright 2010

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The Path of Least Resistance

I am so thankful for Abraham-Hicks!  In an earlier blog post I wrote about desiring a 3 day-a-week job for myself, so I could continue to sustain myself in my current field, while I transitioned into different and unknown work. 

Since that earlier post though, things had degenerated for me.  Every morning, when I opened my book to write about how my new life would look, instead of my previously joyful emotions, my emotional state had turned into “When is this ever going to happen to me?”.  My despair was accompanied by feelings of impatience, frustration and anger.  Why is it taking so long for this to come to me?” I’d think, angry at the Universe.

I finally realized that “biting the Hand that feeds me” was not the approach to getting the new job or the new way of life.  But I felt lost along my manifesting path and wasn’t quite sure how to get back on it. 

Lucky for me, “coincidentally” I happened to be listening to Abraham-Hicks on Hay House Radio yesterday while I was at my present job.  I was feeling frustrated, impatient and bitter, and having to force myself to do my work. 

As I listened to their show, I realized that because of the emotional state I was in, I was not only cutting off any future manifestations, but I was completely squeezing off my current connection with Source altogether. My writing wasn’t flowing, the  coincidences and signs I would usually see, just weren’t there.  I realized with a shock that nothing had really been coming to me lately.

Thankfully, the words Abraham-Hicks use spoke to me in a way which instantly resonated with me.  Their words reached me quickly and fully, allowing me to quickly apply them to my current situation. 

Abraham-Hicks spoke instead of concentrating on the end result of the journey, being happy in the unfoldment of the journey.  What really struck me, and resonated deeply for me, was they said “An unhappy journey cannot have a happy ending.  It simply cannot be.”  In other words, if I cannot enjoy my current job, which is part of the journey to my new job, I will never ever be able to get to the new job.

“So how do I start today to enjoy this journey?”, I asked myself.  How do I reconnect to Source?  Abraham-Hicks reminded me that I can reconnect by reaching for the best feeling thoughts in this moment, and every moment after that. Choosing the best feeling thoughts in each moment is seeking the path of least resistance, and the path of least resistance will bring us back to our alignment with Source.

When I focus on “the thing that makes me feel the very best right this very moment”, what I am giving my attention to is, my connection to Source.  When I am giving my attention to Source, I am allowing it to flow to me again.

Focusing on the path of least resistance also includes stopping justifying “why” I want what I want.  Justifying what you want is asking Source not allowing it to come to you, at the same time.  By justifying why you want something, your focus on the “why” means you are focusing on the lack of having it.  (I realized this has been a difficulty for me for years.  I always felt that I was required to explain to “everyone”, why I wanted what I did, and that I had to be able to “justify” that desire in some way.)

The part of Abraham-Hicks that really resonated for me however was the fact that when one feels LOVE, JOY, APPRECIATION, FULLY ALIVE, IN BALANCE, CLEAR AND BALANCED, it means you are connected to Source.  This means that the most important thing in every moment is to focus on my best feeling in that moment.

The only person who knows exactly what I consider the path of least of resistance for me, is ME.  My emotions are my guidance system which indicates if I am in connection with Source (good feelings) or not connected to Source (bad feelings).  My path of least resistance – my allowing Source to reach me – is based on my likes, dislikes, experiences, background, thoughts and emotions.

The connection between the law of attraction and authenticity was never clear to me before now.  The law of attraction is about total authenticity to myself.  Imagine that!  Being totally authentic to yourself is how you will enjoy your journey and also attain a feeling end state you desire!  That is a win-win-win solution to infinity!

And I have to laugh at myself, because really as Abraham-Hicks say, “Connecting to Source is supposed to feel good and easy and soft.”  We all take ourselves way too seriously and that the whole thing, our lives, are SUPPOSED to be fun and joyful.  That’s why were supposed to be here.  Aren’t I supposed to be a freakin’ conduit of joy for myself and others?  So why am I making my own life so hard?  J

They advised “Take the subject that is active in each moment, if you are happy about it, you are on track.  If you are not happy about that topic, then you need to get in alignment with your desire.”  Once you are in alignment, you will be allowing Source to reach you again.

The key to knowing if you are back in alignment with Source, is the relief you feel in any moment.  If you were hanging onto a feeling, you will know you have moved into a “better” feeling, when your body heaves a sigh, and you feel relief flood into yourself.  I guarantee that along with the relief, Source is also flowing back into you.

So, I’ve had a laugh at my grumpy, serious self.  As I sit in this chair, I can feel the relief flooding into me.  My body is starting to relax and I’m thinking of all the things that are great here at my job.  Not only that, I’m thinking the Universe might not give me a 3 day-a-week job.  The Universe might have something different in mind, than what I envisioned.  It might be something better than I envisioned!  It might be something I don’t even have the ability to envision right now, because the Universe can see things for me that are much greater and more interesting than I have ever imagined.

I might even be smiling a little now.  If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to put on my happy pants and do a little dance…..did I mention I love Abraham-Hicks?

Kara

Need to hear something from the Place That Knows?  I’m dialled into the Main Line.  Receive the intuitive messages that are waiting for you to hear right now! Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey right away!

Kara Thompson :: Copyright 2010

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The Dark Side and the Law of Attraction

http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlwiththepearlearring/3905791961/

Do you believe you have a dark side?  It doesn’t even matter if you do.  Everyone has a dark side.  Your dark side is where all your less desirable emotions hang out. Jealousy, anger, envy – name anything you think is nasty – it is there. The biggie, the root of all lack is also lurking there. Fear.

Why should I care about my dark side?

We should pay more attention to our dark sides, because this side of us has an intimate tie to the law of attraction. This is because the law of attraction always works, no matter what your focus.  It works even when our focus is on the not-so-desirable.  In fact, the law of attraction works especially well at these times. When we are totally focused on lack, usually activated by a fear, the Universe responds. “You want to obsess and focus on lack?  Here’s some more lack for you.”

Then of course the Universe delivers.  It delivers you more and more of the nasty lack you focused on, until your focus on that lack is finally broken. This either means you change your focus, or some external force will cause your focus to change.  And you would be surprised how long and hard some people can focus on fear and lack.

Staff beatings will continue until morale improves.

The thing I am trying to remember today is that if I don’t try and learn what is being brought to my attention, the lesson will just keep getting harder.  If you ignore your fears or remain unconscious of them, the law of attraction will just keep on working. Instead of a fight with your brother, you might bump your head.  If you still don’t “get it” with the bump, you might break your leg.  And on and on it will go, until the Universe finally gets your attention, and you deal with your root fear.  I don’t even want to think of what happens if you never catch on….

The Universe will keep “flagging” an unconscious fear for you, one way or another, until you finally pay attention to it and deal with it. I have learned this the hard way (it was really ugly, trust me).  Now I just try to gracefully submit to the teaching, learn my lesson and get the hell out of my own way.  Once the learning is done, it is amazing to see the world from a new vantage point.

I’m writing this on a day full of new moon Taurus energy – anger and stubborn-headedness.  Also, the calendar is heading into a Mercury retrograde – generally a poor time for communications.  I’m no astrology expert, but I have learned to look to the skies when earthly reactions seem way out of whack to what is actually happening.  It seems like these powerful celestial energies are magnifying my focus on my fears today.

So far today, I have had two blow-out fights, one with a best friend and one with a sibling.  Normally this would devastate me.  Not today though.  My dander is up, I’m severely agitated and spoiling for a fight.  After observing my own angry reactions and theirs, I finally stopped to think “What the hell is going on?  What deep dark stuff of mine is this minor issue triggering?”

What Is My Dark Side Luke?

Our dark sides are mostly made up of unconscious fears. These fears have caused us to create protections for ourselves, often in the form of unconscious patterns.  These pattern have developed as automatic survival mechanisms in this life, or are sometimes inherited from past lives.  Much of the content of our dark sides, developed as a way to protect us, when we didn’t have the ability to develop functional coping mechanisms.  These patterns aren’t evil.

We created these patterns, and they have been helping us.  They were created by us from a loving place of protection. We can see it as a very positive sign when unconscious patterns are starting to cause us problems, because that means we have outgrown them.  When we progress far enough along our life path, we no longer need them.  It is only at this point, that these unconscious ways of behaving become harmful.

If we hold on to these unconscious patterns they will keep attracting to us the very things we built them to repel. If we don’t rid ourselves of them, they will continue to attract to us the very things we feared!   When the Universe brings these unconscious ways of acting to your attention, it is a reminder that these patterns no longer serve you.  It means you are strong enough to have mastered the thing you feared.

Some energy workers don’t want to work with the dark side.  Our society has a certain amount of fear in dealing with “dark” matters.  And yet, without dark there is not light. We should not fear our dark stuff as it is as much a part of us as the light is.

I would argue that we wouldn’t even have enlightenment about ourselves without being able to mine our dark stuff.  Our darkness is the void of potentiality in us.  That means it is the place where our unlimited potential springs from. Out of that rich soil of worries, discarded dreams and fears, hope starts to grow.

Our souls only grow when we are challenged.  The bigger the challenge, the more our souls grow. Painful as it can be, that is just the way humans were made.

Transforming the Dark Stuff into Gold

The key to releasing our dark stuff is to find a way to bring these unconscious patterns into consciousness.  Once we are conscious of them, they are magically released.  Their power over us evaporates. You can release them however you want.  Working with a trusted healer, using guided meditations, or whatever modality works for you, can help you release these.  Identifying the pattern, writing it down and expressing the intention for it to go, and replacing the old pattern with a new pattern, can release it.  The key is to acknowledge the pattern and then to give your permission for it to leave.  It must be replaced with positive energy in its wake.

It is amazing how our lives shift when we release these patterns.  When we release old patterns that trap us into knee-jerk reaction, we can act in new and expansive ways.  We can take a moment to consider how we wish to react, and act from love and abundance, instead of automatically reacting from fear. Once the dark issue is gone, it results in a realization of how we’ve been trapped by it.  It opens our eyes to see our world in a new way.  It opens our eyes to a new way of living without fear as our root motivator.

The issue that arose today, on the surface was about someone judging my child.  After two fights and some self-reflection, I realized that it activated an old and deep parenting issue from my own childhood.  I didn’t even know I had this issue until today.  I know from past experience, that once I release it, not only will I heal my own issue, but  the lesson I embrace will enable me to be a better parent to my own child.

Now if you’ll just excuse me, I have to go and do a release.  I’m sure I’ll be a much nicer and more enlightened person tomorrow.  And most importantly, I’ll be able to get out of my own way to let the Flow back in…..

Kara

What is the Universe trying to tell you?  Receive the intuitive messages that are waiting for you to hear right now! Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey right away!

Kara Thompson :: Copyright 2010

Thanks very much to Girlwiththe pearlearring for the dark photo.  http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlwiththepearlearring/3905791961/

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Ultimate Manifestation Experiment – Part 2

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23665057@N02/3138217639/

A few weeks ago I posted about my “Ultimate Manifestation Experiment”.  My experiment was posting my heart’s desire at the moment – obtaining a 3 day a week job in my current field  – which would allow me to pursue other priorities in my life right now.  I asked the Universe for this opportunity to be delivered by March 31, 2010.

I was feeling really good about the whole thing.  I was writing about this opportunity and could feel how it would enrich and shift the rest of my life.  Even visualizing about the whole thing made me feel very relieved and happy.  I was in the groove and feeling very excited about it.

So what happened?  It is now April 9, 2010.  Did I allow this opportunity to come to me?  Well, to some extent yes, and to some extent no. 

Success!!

 As I added to the bottom of my first post, I was invited to a job interview for a 3 day a week position.    The fact that I had the interview period, thrilled me.  I made real for me the possibility for a 3 day a week job does exist and that I could get one!

Setback…

Then, before the end of March two events happened which I threw me out of alignment with my desires.

After going to the job interview, I realized I had some serious contemplation to do if I wanted to work for that particular company.  I wasn’t sure if I could live with the company’s values.  I wasn’t sure that the job was enough in alignment with my values that I could work there, even part-time.

I also realized that there are so many things about my current job that I take for granted that I love.  A couple of these things are my proximity to my friends for lunches, and to my husband’s work.  I didn’t realize how much I appreciated the great exercise program I have where I work.   Also, my work is close to my house, and this is very important for me so I can drop off and pick up my kids.  These were all things I didn’t realize were necessary to my quality of life, until I considered not having them.

Also, I had a psychic reading.  Her reading totally threw me off.  She didn’t say I wouldn’t get a 3 day a week job.  In fact she told me if I wanted to, I could in fact get a five day a week job doing what I loved.  Which is great….except that I don’t really want a full-time job, and I’m not sure I could believe that a full-time job reality is possible for me at the moment. 

At the moment, I just do not believe that I could switch from my current job, to a five day a week doing what I love.  Also, I don’t really think one full-time job is what I want.  In order for visualization to work, you must actually be able to believe with your heart that it can happen for you.  I need some time to explore my interests to figure out other things that I want to do for a living.  That is partly what freeing up some time for myself is all about.  The other part is more flexible time to spend with my kids.  So even though there may be a great opportunity for me five days a week, that is not what I want for myself.

By the last week of March I was feeling very irritated and out of sorts and couldn’t get back to “my happy place” visualizing, because I wasn’t even sure what it was anymore.  This meant I did not have a clear picture to focus on.

I’ve learned some very important lessons about clarity and focus.

  1. All the criteria that you truly desire must be in your visualization.  When confronted with whether or not I could work part-time for a company that I didn’t really believe in, I realized that I can’t. My part-time work has to match my authentic values to at least some degree.  If authenticity is my ultimate goal, then not aligning with my authentic self at work at a job, even though it’s only part-time, is not going to work.  Also I realized I left some details out my visualization that, while they may appear minor, really do matter to me.
  2. What I want is what I want, and that is the only thing that matters.  It doesn’t matter if there is something that someone else thinks is better out there.  It’s all about what I consider best.  If I am happy with what I want, that is great.  If the focus on that vision is the one I desire, then that is what I’m focusing on.
  3. My feelings are the ultimate litmus test about whether things are on track for me.  When I am in alignment with my vision of the future, I feel relieved and happy and excited.  When I got all confused I was irritated and unfocussed and my body felt yucky – I was not aligned with anything.  Not my own vision and definitely not with Source.  So I must remember to always be guided by my feelings.

Yay! It’s on track again!

So, the good news is that because of these experiences, I have become clearer and clearer on what I want.

I have been able to become more specific about what I want.  I’m back in the place of writing about it every day and feeling very excited and happy about it.  I’m back on track (thanks a lot to my coach!) and I’m very optimistic about great things happening this month.

In the meantime, I’m practicing gratitude for what I have.  I’m cleaning up my office in anticipation of leaving.  Each day I’m listening for those small whispers which give me clues on action I should take to move things forward.

And I again have faith that it is going to happen.  : )

Kara

What is the Universe trying to tell you?  Receive the intuitive messages that are waiting for you to hear right now! Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey right away!

Thanks to Mara ~earth light~’s for the lovely photo!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23665057@N02/3138217639/

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So Long Soul Suckers!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/2971831831/in/set-72157605545532119/Yesterday was March 31.

This is a significant day of the year for me.  It was the last official day of my old job. Four years ago, I was unceremoniously and rudely dismissed from my job.  I know now this was due to events totally beyond my control, but my self-worth was in the toilet and it took a long time to recover.

This year’s March 31st, turned out to be the last official day of my old boss’ job. I only know this because by a Divine “ha-ha”, he was sitting at the table next to me for lunch yesterday.  This was the same boss who unceremoniously and rudely dismissed me from that job.

I was having lunch with my friend, who is one of the very best lawyers I know.  He is incredibly smart, funny, never gives up, has so much integrity it hurts, is super honest.  He always has his clients’ best interests at heart, even when they don’t.  He has a work ethic that would make a slave blush.

The only thing I ever found fault with in him, was his total and utter dedication to his work.  He cared so much for his work, it was to the detriment of his personal family time with his spouse and children, and his own personal talents.

What the hell was going wrong at work?
We were having lunch to discuss what the hell was going on in his life.  He was experiencing issues at work that he had never experienced before.  This was significant for him, because work was always his forte.  Having worked with him, and being utterly intimidated by his intelligence, I can tell you that he is a man at the very top of his work game.

He was perplexed because these issues were unprecedented at work, his usual arena of perfection.  The worst part is, that these issues were not related to the quality of his work, his work output, or his work relationships.  So what the hell was going on?

He was experiencing the shock I had myself four years ago, when my job fell apart for no reason related to my work.

The lightbulb was finally going on for him.  The last tiny bits of his soul were finally getting sucked.

Yesterday, was the first time the penny really dropped for him.  He finally realized that no matter how long he waited, he would never, ever, ever be getting the gratitude that – by any account – he deserves.  It finally dawned on him, that even though he pours his heart and soul and love into his work every day, week after week,  only a miniscule amount of his hard work will ever be acknowledged, let alone rewarded.

I was really sad to be there to witness his realization. It is not happy, to realize that years of your blood and sweat will never be appreciated.

But I was also incredibly happy to witness the fact that he has now turned his laser-like focus, and his commitment and his dedication to his own endeavours.

I am excited because even though he may feel temporarily angry about the lack of appreciation from his job, he has now committed to bringing the most success to himself.  He is bringing his brilliance, his focus, his love and most of all his utter, at-all-costs commitment, to his own work.  His work can’t help be absolutely brilliant, because anything he applies and dedicates himself to is absolutely brilliant.

He cannot fail, because he puts his heart and soul into anything he commits to, and he will be sharing his heart and his soul, and his brilliance, with the world.  And because he gives of himself 1000%, the world will love him back for a million-fold.

So Why Were We All At the Restaurant?

So why were we all at the restaurant on this auspicious date?

It came to me last night.  The three of us are at three stages of valuing of our souls, commiting to our authentic values.

I’ve made the commitment to my own gifts in order to nourish my soul.  To accomplish this, I am doing what’s necessary to make more time for myself and transition out of my job. My realization only came after my painful removal from that job and a lot of soul-searching.

My friend has just recognized that he must make the time to value his own gifts, as his job will never will value him fully. He has also recognized that in order to honor himself fully, he will eventually have to leave this job.

Yesterday was a payback from me to my friend. When I was totally losing my mind at my old job four years ago, questioning my own value and my sanity, he was the only one who assured me of the value of my work. He was the witness, the anchor that reassured me that I could value myself.

I was honored yesterday by being able to be a witness for him.  I was able to affirm for him the value of his work. I could reassure him that the non-appreciation he is receiving had nothing to do with the quality of his work, just as he did for me.  I also helped him see, that his focus directed towards his own work would also lead to brilliance in his own work.

How does my old boss feel about his own value?  I’ll never know, but I’m guessing that perhaps my old boss represents one that never truly did value himself. He certainly appeared to never felt valued from his job.  Perhaps he felt that if he gave everything to his job, there would be a pay-off somewhere.  I doubt he ever got that pay-off.  But, perhaps now that he has the time to value his own pursuits, he will.  Today for him, is literally the first day of the “rest of his life”.  I wish him luck with that.

I am thankful that I didn’t have to wait until my retirement date until I realized that my highest duty was to myself and my own gifts.

Is your soul being sucked by your job?  Make a plan to get out!  Start today!

Kara

What is the Universe trying to tell you?  Book a journey to receive intuitive messages that are waiting for you right now! Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey!

Copyright 2010 :: Kara Thompson

Thanks to alicepopkorn for the amazing photo!

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Simple, But Not Easy

It is amazingly fun and cool to see signs in my own life.  But it really takes on a whole new level, when another person, in this case my husband, also experiences the SAME sign in his life.  It becomes harder to deny that SOMETHING metaphysical and also real is happening.

The latest sign started off simply and easily enough.  My husband was talking about a recipe he had made from an issue of Bon Appetit magazine.  His take on the recipe, a rather elaborate “grilled cheese sandwich”, contained buffalo mozzarella, braised elk, fresh arugula, and caramelized red onions on a toasted white Italian bun.  Watching my face contort in ecstasy, he said, “This recipe is simple, but it’s not easy.” 

That night, I was laying in bed reading the book “Julie and Julia”.   I turned to my husband and said.  “You’ll never believe what I just read in this book!”  There it was, sitting there in black and white.  Simple, but not easy. We were both pleased, thinking back to his sandwich. 

The next morning I happened to notice the business book “Small Giants” in the bathroom counter.  I noticed my husband had read another quarter of the book, since I last looked.   I casually picked up the book and the first sentence that caught my eye was: “Simple it may be, but easy it is not.”  He’d obviously read the same page that morning, that I’d just read.  The same message again?

 “Simple but not easy” was the message received, though I hadn’t intentionally asked for any particular sign this week. However it was an intense week where my husband and I were both talking about and planning our new business ventures should look like.  We both saw the message and started to analyze it.

“Simple not easy” seems to encapsulate most genius.   My husband’s sandwich was made of simple ingredients, but the thought required to combine all those ingredients together was not arrived at easily.  I thought about other genius.  Picasso’s paintings may look “simple” but it was only from many years of constantly painting, and experimenting for him to arrive at the place where he could execute his paintings so “simply”.  Bach’s musical structures are simple – that is exactly what makes so pleasing to listen to – but that did not mean that it was particularly easy to write. 

It is interesting that I was reading “Julie and Julia” about a woman who created a blog about her cooking project to give her meaning, as her job in the real world was devoid of meaning for her.  She was able to transition to a whole new career because of it.  I am also in the middle of transitioning to a new career which aligns with my true values, and my blog expresses my authenticity.  My husband was reading “Small Giants” to figure out how he could be successful, but also remain true to his own values.

While editing the business plan for the restaurant, it occurred to me that what my husband is aiming for with his food, is ultimate simplicity.  The taste and presentation of his proposed food aims to highlight the brilliant simplicity of bringing out natural flavours.  This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have to ponder what flavours, textures and colors to combine.  His ponderings on how to combine ingredients is the hallmark of excellent cooking.  Thinking about food, and how to make it is the thing he absolutely loves about cooking.  He thrives on the challenge of cooking and the endless pondering about it. 

SIMPLE, BUT NOT EASY is a huge message to me about valuing myself.  My skills may appear simple on the surface, but not everyone has my abilities.  This has been an ongoing struggle in my life, and this message helps direct me back towards the meaning of my life.  If something comes to me simply, I don’t value it.  I’ve had amazing talents, apparent to my family from my childhood, like singing – true gifts from God – that I didn’t value. 

I believed that since my inborn talents came so easily to me, since I didn’t have to “work” for them, I took them for granted.  Somehow I had the mistaken thought, that “everybody can do this!”, which I only realized years later was so very false.

My devaluing of my gifts, and my fear in pursuing them as “work” in the big wide world, caused me to discard them.  Instead of pursuing my true gifts, I tried to force myself to learn things that the “world” valued more, like being a lawyer, most of which did not come easily to me.  In fact, I hated law school and much legal work, as most of it didn’t align with my true values. 

I have to remember this important reminder as I go forward in developing my new skills.  Just because what I do appears to be simple, it is not necessarily easy.  Not everyone can do what I do, and I have to honor and value my ability and my experiences, that enable me to do it.

So I’m committing to valuing my “simple” talents.  Hopefully it’s a recipe for genius…..

Kara

What is the Universe trying to tell you?  Receive the intuitive messages that are waiting for you to hear right now!  Book my last journey available this week, before prices go up April 1st.  Email me at conduitofjoy@hotmail.com to book your journey right away!

Copyright 2010 :: Kara Thompson

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